Back in October I remember looking at the calendar and thinking about what each month meant in terms of the baby's birth. Feb meant no chance for the baby. March meant a 50-50 chance but a micropreemie no doubt. April meant some relief - an early preemie - but one that would have a fighting chance. And I remember thinking if we could just get to May (June of course would be even better). Especially May 6th which would be just two months left to D-Day. And May 11th marks 32 weeks exactly.
So here we are May. I'm glad to see you. The picture on the left is the urine dip sticks that I use to test my pee every day for signs of protein, a marker for pre-eclampsia. I reckon now since starting at Week 20, I have done this 70 times. The color that appears every morning is a relief but there's always trepidation that one morning is going to be the morning when I wake and it's a darker color, like the colors it was in 2005 when I was diagnosed and doing this at home. (So far it's negative as long as I am hydrated and I dip trace when I have not had enough fluids).
Similar to what I had at 20 weeks (see old post), I had a little bit of irrational anxiety since hitting Week 30. It must be something about hitting the number (10, 20 or 30). If I had known before conception how much better things would go this time, I would have jumped in even sooner. But I still get gripped occasionally with the fear of my body turning against me and the baby. Like I said before, 95% of the time I am fine and upbeat, it's only moments here and there. And I allow myself this. As my high-risk doctor has said it is completely normal to experience some anxiety in a high-risk pregnancy. Honestly to ignore the risks and not ever think about the what-if's would be a bit like sticking your head in the ground to me.
But I'll take a deep breath and head out soon for a short walk (my walks are indeed getting shorter!) and I will rejoice in the fact that this baby is now 50% bigger than Liam was at birth and in another week will probably be around 4 lbs, twice what he weighed.
Thanks again to everyone following our journey and prayers to all those facing similar journeys!
Such awesome news! Where did you get your sticks? Dr give them to you or are they OTC? I would LOOVE to have those, might five some peace of mind.
ReplyDeleteFantastic!!! Yes I would love to know where you get your sticks as well? My email is L412angel at aol :)
ReplyDeleteCongratulations on reaching May! Your blog is giving me great hope for the future. I am giving my self a year to get into great shape before getting pregnant.( I now have a beautiful 15 month old after a PE pregnancy.) It is so exciting to see you having a healthy pregnancy so far! Way to go!
ReplyDeleteAshley and Laura: Yes I got them from my doctor. I am with Kaiser. i dont know if you can buy OTC. I doubt it - plus they are expensive. They dont make it a general thing to give patients the strips to test at home but since I had it so early last time..plus I had a trace at 20 weeks, so they wanted to be extra vigilant.
ReplyDeleteI dont know - on one hand it is reassuring. On the other hand it can make you stress out more checking it every day. I dont know what is better honestly!
So glad!!! I remember hitting the 30's and how awesome that felt... you look fantastic and I hope you feel fantastic as well
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